School-to-Work

Greetings from Fuddle River Schools. This week the board met to review two ongoing programs in the district. The new "School-to-Work" program was presented by program coordinator and classroom teacher Keith Gilbert. Gilbert outlined the changes he's made in his classroom to prepare students for the real world of work.

Gilbert has all of the students sit in cubicles. The students are put into teams with the peers with whom they are least likely to accomplish real work. The least competent students are the team leaders. If a team ever does look like it will accomplish something, the teacher quickly convenes a long meeting to sidetrack them. Every day or so, a few students are "downsized," and their work is taken over by independent contractors from the study hall. Gilbert explained that disruptive new features are being added to the program on a daily basis. The board praised Gilbert's efforts to prepare students for work in the 21st century.

Principal Tom Tolfson reported on the new "Really Drug-Free Schools" program being initiated at the elementary school. He reported that many teachers are having a hard time following the new policy banning caffeine on the school campus.

A security officer disguised as a substitute teacher reported being able to make several "scores" of instant coffee crystals and caffeinated sodas from the teachers. One teacher was reported to the office by students who claimed she was teaching with a tea bag string hanging out of the corner of her mouth. Another teacher was suspended after her "One Pounder" bag of M&M's ripped and fell out of her purse, causing a minor riot in the main hallway. Parents visiting the building have complained about the examples set by the groups of teachers seen huddled together across the street from school, eating chocolates and drinking coffee.

Principal Tolfson reported that the school's "Really Drug-Free Schools" committee is working on ideas to help caffeine-dependent faculty and to improve enforcement policies. However, he added, the committee has had a difficult time accomplishing anything in meetings without the customary generous supply of strong coffee and chocolate donuts.

And that's it this week from Fuddle River Schools.

Copyright cc 2011 by John P. Wood for Learning Laffs

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